Sinful love
by Gia04
Summary: What happens when passion overcomes reason? When love is not as easy as it seems? When the heart is split in parts and not by heartbreak but by the facets of love?
1. Chapter 1

After the past events, after everything that has happened and I've been through, I vowed myself one thing: that I will never criticize another's person situation, I will never judge because you never have a clue about what it's really going on, how those people got in that place and what the truth is. And most importantly, you have no right. I am not better. I am capable of doing the exact same thing. I learned this the hard way.

It all started in the summer of 2011. It was then that I started a relationship with my now future husband. It was also then that I started working as a part time waitress only during summer weekends, at weddings, just to earn some extra cash to help me through college, which I was starting that fall.

I remember like it was yesterday the first wedding I worked at. The owner of the restaurant sent me in one of the three wedding saloons, the smallest one. There I met others, some who were full time employees, others just like me. It was a small wedding so we were only 5 waiters. The first time I saw him I remember thinking that he was so handsome. He was working there the longest, being sort of a manager, in charge of all the other waiters and the wedding itself. I felt attracted to him instantly and unlike the others, he actually helped me, teaching me what the job required. We talked a lot, got to know eachother better, at least as much as the job allowed us. We were never flirty, but I could sense some sort of interest comming from him. He was always curious about me and who I was, my interests. He was funny and charismatic and I found myself getting along with him the most of all the others.

Then reality hit and I found out he was married. His wife, one of the waiters, called him "baby" and so I noticed the wedding rings on their fingers. i remember thinking I was so stupid. He was just friendly, trying to make me feel comfortable and I was already fantasizing about him. I had to stop, I was not that type. So I gathered all my feelings and thoughts about him in a box and hid it in the deepest place of my soul, never to be taken out or remembered again. I moved on. The weeks passed and I developed sort of a friendship with both of them. We were amicable.

I had this good friend, Daniel. We dated briefly while I was in highschool. It didn't worked out, instead developing a very close friendship. But that summer something changed in me. I found myself wanting stability, commitment. Something serious. I was tired of just having fun. And Daniel, he was just there. We were already great friends and I knew that my mentality changed so much since the last time we've been dating that it could work. He liked me, I liked him. He was smart and actually gave a damn about what I thought and felt. He treated me nice. He was the serious relationship type of guy. So I asked him and he agreed. We started with the idea of commitment in both our minds. And now, almost 4 years later, we were engaged, about to get married the next summer and very, very good friends with Edward, now owner of his own line of restaurants, including the one I used to work at and he used to manage and where the wedding was taking place and his wife, Tanya.

Except nobody knew what secrets I was hiding. Nobody knew what during the last 4 years really happened. Nobody knew how I really felt. Nobody except Edward, who was part of it all. It's funny how I thought I was not going to be that type.


	2. Chapter 2

We were curently having dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Delirio. It was our one month anniversary.

"So how was last night?" Daniel asked, between bites. It was strange how quickly our relationship evolved in just one month. There were almost no boundaries between us, no awkwardness typical at the beginning of every relationship. I blamed it on the fact that we pretty much knew eachother when we started dating, Daniel being a constant presence in my life since I was 17 years old.

"It was as usual, hard. A lot of work, exhausting. I'm starting to get used to it, though. I don't feel so tired as I felt at the beginning." It had been two months since I started working.

"You know, I forgot to mention. I have a friend that works there, Edward. He is the mananger" Daniel replied.

Fucking great.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. Do you know him?"

"Ofcourse. He is the manager. Everybody there knows him" I replied. Why was I feeling so uncomfortable?

"We haven't talked in a while, actually. I should give him a phonecall" Daniel said, looking pensive.

"Were you close or something?"

"yeah, we used to be very good friends when we were younger. We actually went to the same school."

"So, what happened? I don't remember you ever mentioning his name" I tried to remember if he talked about Edward ever since I know him, but nothing came to my mind.

"Life. We went different ways. We still keep in touch, once in awhile but not like we used to."

I simply nodded, not knowing what to say anymore.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are tonight?"he asked, watching me intently.

"My Lord, Mr. Harris, I thought I always looked beautiful." I replied, with a hand to my chest, pretending to be offended. Secretly, I just liked teasing him.

"Not really. Sometimes you look just awful." he answered, looking directly in my eyes, not a trace of amuzement on his face.

We stared at eachother for awhile before bursting in laughter. Well, I laughed, he just shaked his head at me and smiled.

"That's what you get when you do that."

"Do what?" I asked between laughs.

"Not accepting a compliment the proper way. You always have to have some sort of crazy reply" he said matter of factly.

"I do not." I lied.

"Yes, you do." he replied.

"I've always been like this. What, you don't like me this way anymore?" I jokingly asked.

"I didn't say that!"

"You implied it."

"Smartass." he huffed, rolling his eyes.

"What? My ass ain't smart!" I said, looking shocked.

"Oh my God, would you stop? you are one crazy lady, I tell you" he was exhasperated.

"okay, I will stop." I promised, leaning in to give him a kiss. He met me halfway and gave me a quick peck on the lips before leaning back on his seat.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, we can go" I couldn't wait to get home and get this stupid heels off.

After paying and helping me with my coat, we headed outside. The air was misty, rain drizzling around us. It was almost the end of September, the coldness of the season enveloping us.

"Good thing I parked the car close to the restaurant" Daniel announced, putting a hand around me and leading me to the car. Once inside he turned the heat on and I streched my arms so I could warm up my hands.

"You know, I think the wedding season is comming to an end." He said, starting the car.

"Yeah, there are maybe 2 or three weddings left."

"So are you planning on looking for something else?" He asked while driving.

"Yes" I did have some money saved up that could be enough for a couple of months, giving me enough time to look for something else.

"You could find something part time so you can go to classes also, maybe as a waitress since you have some experience now. It would be easier for you." It was nice how Daniel always thought of me and what was best for me. Any other person, it would have bothered me, but not Daniel. We knew eachother for so long, he was my best friend.

"Yeah, I know. I will see."

We remained quiet the rest of the way home. Once there, he stopped the car, facing me.

"Thank you for tonight. It was amazing" I said, leaning in to kiss him.

He parted his lips, wanting for more. Our tongues met, starting a dance that only a kiss could make. His left hand gently carressed my face, touching my hair and moving down my arm, gently squeezing my fingers and moving to my waist, pulling me closer. He broke the kiss, moving his lips to my jaw and then my ears.

"Invite me in, Bella" he whispered.

Shit.

"I.. I.. I'm not sure.." I blabbered, not knowing what to say.

He suddenly pulled back, leaving me hanging mid way.

"Fine." He said simply.

"I'm sorry, I just.."

"Can't. I know, I heard it like a hundred times until now."

"Daniel, don't do this." I begged, trying to make him look at me.

"Don't do what? Getting pissed at my girlfriend who doesn't want to sleep with me after a month of dating and 3 years of knowing eachother?" He was almost furious. I could see it in the vein pulsing on his forehead and the way his hands clenched.

"I don't see how a month of dating is a too long period of time to wait for sex" I replied, frustrated.

"I love you, Bella. I know you, you know me since we were stupid teenagers. I want you" he replied quietly.

"Why can't you just be patient? it doesn't matter how long we know eachother or how long we've been dating if I am not ready. I want to be ready for this. Don't you?" I pleaded.

He just stared out the front window, looking thoughtful. I wished he would understand.

"Fine, I get it. I'm sorry for pushing you." He answered after some time. He looked at me, trying to smile. It was obvious he didn't really feel like it was okay, but I was just too tired to keep having this conversation over and over again.

"It's okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" I asked, leaning in for a goodbye kiss. He pulled my lips in a short kiss and nodded. "Goodnight, Bella" he said starting the car.

"Good night."

Once inside my apartment, I threw myself on the couch, contemplating my last conversation with Daniel. My virginity was ever since we started dating an issue.

I trusted Daniel, I really did, but when it came to sex it was like my mind shutted off. I was just not ready. Theoretically, I knew how sex worked. I knew it was supposed to feel good, for both partners. But practically I had no clue. What if I wasn't good enough? What if I ended up displeasing him? There were so many what ifs and I needed to be sure.

I knew that eventually I had to face my fears and be a proper girlfriend in this relationship. And if I wanted to be with Daniel, that time would have to come soon. I just hoped I was going to be prepared.

I went to bed with the thought of trying to ease the idea of sex in my mind gradually, with Daniel's help. I was going to talk to him tomorrow and explain everything and maybe he could understand and help me.

All that I could do was try.

….

The clock on my bedside table showed 8.00 a.m. Classes started at 10 today so I decided to take a much needed bath to relax my body. I don't know if it was normal or not, but I loved taking baths in the morning. I felt as if they relaxed my entire body and prepared me for the day. After soaking in the bathtub for about an hour, I dressed casually in a pair of jeans and dark blue shirt, ate some quick breakfast, grabbed my books and decided to head out early so I could get a cup of coffee from my favorite coffee shop. Checking my phone, I found a new message from Daniel

"Good morning, sweetheart. I am currently heading to work. Can't wait to talk to you during lunch break. Have a nice day!"

It was usual for him to send me a message every morning while heading to work. We could only talk then and during his lunch break as he was very busy working.

I was happy to see that he wasn't mad after last night.

"Good morning to you too! I am heading to class. Thank you and I hope you have a nice day too. Talk to you at lunch."

I was just getting to the shop when it suddenly started raining. Heavily. Great. I would get to class like I just came out of the shower, why bother taking baths and all that, really?

"Hey! What can I get you?" the waitress asked.

"Coffee, please. Regular" I replied.

"Coming right up." Why was she so cheerful? Like seriously, was she not aware of the situation outside? Nobody should be happy when it rained. I hated it. I hated carrying an umbrella. I hated getting out of the house. I just hated it.

"Here you go." She offered less than a minute later. I left the cup on the counter, reaching in my bag to get the wallet out.

"That's on me." Spoke a familiar voice. I looked up at him, suprised to see him.

"Hello, Bella" he said with a casual smile on his face.

You need to reply. You need to speak. Stop looking so fucking dumb, you idiot.

"hello, Edward" I replied. "you don't have to pay for my coffee, really." I said, trying to find something to talk about.

"I know I don't but I want to." He said while paying for his own coffee.

"well, thank you then."

"My pleasure. So what are you doing?" he asked, while we were moving out of the line.

"I'm going to class." I looked outside the window, hoping to see that the rain stopped, but it was still pouring. I must have made some sound because he noticed my displeasure with the things outside.

"You don't like the rain?" his deep voice sounded in my ears.

"ughh, are you kidding me? I hate it. Especially when you have to get out of the house and you don't have an umbrella." I said irritated.

"I actually find the rain really soothing." He replied, looking out the window, deep in thought. He was such a beautiful, intriguing man. It wasn't wrong to think that, right? It was just an opinion on somebody. There would never be more than just that, an opinion. It was nothing wrong.

If I only knew back then the reality of things.

"You know, Daniel called me today. I had no idea you were dating one of my friends." Edward said, after a while. He looked at me then, smiling.

"I had no idea you two know eachother." I replied.

"For a very long time. How is he? we haven't talked in a while."

"He's fine, at work right now."

He sipped from his coffee, watching me intently.

"We should hang out sometime, the four of us." He informed me.

it was like my inner panic alarm sudenly activated. Was this a good a idea? I was aware that he had some kind of effect on me. But at the same time I never thought of acting on it ever since I found out he was married and now, that I had a boyfriend. So I could just shove my stupid rebelious thoughts in the back of my mind and move on with my life, sure that eventually they would dissapear.

"Yeah, we should. I would like that." I answered him, smiling back at him genuinely.

"Great. I will give Daniel a call and we will establish then when and where" he said while moving to the door. "Until then, let me give you a ride to school."

Shit, I forgot I had a class. I looked and my watch seeing it was almost 9:50. I wouldn't have made it in time if I walked.

"Okay, thank you" I accepted his offer, knowing that this way I could get to class and look decent also.

"How is Tanya?" I asked once we were inside his car.

"She's good. At home, I think." He replied. I thought I saw him tensing for a second but next he smiled at me and it was so fast I wasn't sure I saw right or not.

"Well, tell her I said hi."

"I will."

An awkward silence fell around us after that. I was trying to come up with something to talk about but my mind drew a blank. He was looking quite content driving, listening to the radio and humming along with the song.

"Thanks for the ride and the coffee." I told him once we got to school.

"It was my pleasure, Bella." He answered, facing me.

"I'll see you Saturday." We were going to work together. We hadn't worked in the same saloon ever since the first wedding, but this weekend we would.

"Yes. Maybe sooner, even. I wasn't joking when I said we should meet all four of us" he replied.

"Okay, then. Goodbye." I said as I exited the car.

"Goodbye, Bella" I heard him say behind me right before closing the door. Once he was gone, I raised my head up to the sky and just left the rain wash my face, not bothered by it anymore. I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that needed to be washed away. Hurrying to class, I decided not to dwell on it to much and instead ocupy my mind with the beauty that is English literature.


End file.
